Have you read about Jacob, Leah, and Rachel in the Bible? Each time I read about them, I tend to look at it from Jacob’s perspective – a love story with obstacles placed in the path of the hero. But the other day, God showed me Leah’s point of view. Before we turn to Leah, let’s remind ourselves what happened to Jacob.
In obedience to his parent’s request, Jacob traveled to their relatives’ country to find a wife (Genesis 28:1-2, 5; 29:1, 4-5). When Jacob saw Rachel, he fell in love (Genesis 29:9-11, 18). Jacob agreed to work for Rachel’s father, Laban, for seven years so he could marry Rachel (Genesis 29:18). The years seemed only a few days because of his love for her (Genesis 29:20).
At the end of the seven years, it was time for the wedding (Genesis 29:21). The day had finally come for Jacob to marry the woman he loved. But on the wedding night, Laban had Leah (Rachel’s older sister) go into the wedding tent (Genesis 29:23). The following morning, Jacob realized that he had actually married Leah (Genesis 29:25).
How could Jacob have married Leah, thinking she was Rachel? Commentaries explain that the traditional wedding attire included a veil that would have entirely concealed Leah’s features. The veil, along with the alcohol that would have been consumed during the wedding feast, would make it possible for Jacob to unknowingly marry Leah.
Jacob was upset. And rightfully so. Laban had tricked him into marrying Leah because it was customary for the elder daughter to be married first (Genesis 29:26). Yet, Laban also agreed that Jacob could marry Rachel if Jacob worked for him another seven years (Genesis 29:27). Eventually, Jacob also married Rachel (Genesis 29:28-30).
So that’s Jacob’s point of view – he received the short end of the stick from Laban. He ended up marrying a woman he never intended to marry, a woman he didn’t love.
But now let’s look at it from Leah’s viewpoint.
First, we know that Leah was not beautiful like her younger sister. The Bible tells us that her eyes were “delicate” (Genesis 29:17 (NKJV)). That either means she couldn’t see well or she had blue eyes instead of the more accepted brown eyes of her culture. Although that may not seem like a big thing, the contrasting description of Rachel as “beautiful of form and appearance” shows us that Leah was not attractive like her sister (Genesis 29:17 (NKJV)).
Second, we know that she watched Jacob pursue her sister. Jacob was attracted to Rachel, not Leah.
Third, her father had her sneak into the marriage tent to deceive Jacob into marrying her. How do you think she felt knowing her father thought the only way a man would marry her was to be tricked into doing so?
Finally, the Bible tells us that Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah (Genesis 29:30). Leah was married to a man who didn’t love her. That, in and of itself, would be difficult. But the situation was compounded by the fact that her husband was also married to another woman that he did love. And that other woman was her sister.
But God saw that Leah was unloved. (Genesis 29:31). So, God “opened her womb; but Rachel was barren” (Genesis 29:31 (NKJV)).
Given Rachel’s barrenness, it appears that Leah tried to get Jacob to love her by bearing him children.
- When Leah had Jacob’s first son, she named him Reuben, which means, “Look a son” (Genesis 29:32). And Leah said, “The LORD has surely looked on my affliction. Now therefore my husband will love me” (Genesis 29:32 (NKJV)).
- Then Leah bore Jacob a second son and said, “Because the LORD has heard that I am unloved, He has therefore given me this son also” (Genesis 29:33 (NKJV)). So she named him Simeon, which means heard (Genesis 29:33).
- Leah conceived again and bore Jacob a third son (Genesis 29:34). Leah said, “Now this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons” (Genesis 29:34 (NKJV)). She called him Levi, which means “joined to.”
For several years, Leah tried to earn Jacob’s love by bearing him children. You can feel her pain – always feeling second rate to her sister, married to a man who didn’t love her, trying to win her husband’s love, and wanting to feel loved.
Then something changed. Maybe Leah finally realized she was looking to the wrong one for love. We don’t know what caused Leah’s heart change. But she stopped focusing on what she didn’t have and started looking at what God had already given her.
So when Leah had her fourth son, she said, “Now I will praise the LORD” and named him Judah, which means praise (Genesis 29:35 (NKJV)). She learned to praise God – not for her circumstances but in her circumstances.
Maybe you feel like Leah – plain, overlooked, and unloved. No matter what your circumstances are or how invisible you feel, the truth is that God sees you. And God loves you. God loves you so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die on the cross for your sins so you can have a relationship with Him (John 3:16).
God has not overlooked you. Just as God saw Leah, God sees you. And when you come to Him, like Leah did, praise will flow out of your heart.
This….
Between my two dads, my first and second husbands, and before giving my life back to Jesus, I never felt loved by any of the men in my life. And no matter how hard I tried to get any of them to love me the way I wanted to be loved, it never worked the way I wanted it to. But God saw me, and He heard my prayers, felt my heart’s pain, and held all of my tears, and when the timing was right in His calendar, He brought to me my 3rd and final husband, and gave to him the love He wanted me to have, from Him, through him, and it’s been more than I had ever prayed for. God gave me my ‘Judah’ when I started looking to our Father for the love I was desiring instead of to men for a love that’s impossible for them to give without God’s grace.
Thank you so much for this, Cathy. This blessed me greatly!
What am I supposed to think? I may not be ugly, but I’ve never been in the right place at the right time. Always socially awkward and too full figured in the 80’s and 90’s when all my contemporaries paired off. My body was the wrong shape and size for the time. My hair was mud colored and my skin was full of zits. No guys wanted to date me.
No opportunities to meet Christian men after my early twenties. My health suddenly got bad around that time. No man has ever wanted me for anything but hook ups. Except for one abuser I didn’t leave till he threatened my parents.
My health is worse, I’m still a virgin and completely alone at 48. So many conservative Christians jump to assume the worst and make wrong accusations.
And it seems every sermon I hear about femininity says women have a special role to play in the body of Christ as wives and mothers. Failure and failure.
Why did God make me female? Is there anything to womanhood besides being nice to look at, for a husband to enjoy having sex with, and the ability to reproduce? I have failed in all 3 areas. Though God seems to have made it unusually hard for me to start a family.
Older virgins really are worthless. If women. They might as well have been unchaste when young–especially since everyone at church will assume it anyhow.
God does make useless junk. I know because He created me.
It’s only when I think of myself as sexless or forget my womanhood that I can quit hating myself. I’m a failure as a woman. Not a real woman at all.
Dear Ren,
I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling useless. Those feelings are very real. But they are not telling you the truth.
You are valuable as a woman. Women are useful for many things besides being a wife and mother. God made women different from men – in more ways than physical ones. We think and see situations differently. Women complement the attributes God gave to men. Those attributes can be used as you serve the body of Christ.
And, you were made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). You were fearfully and wonderfully made by Him (Psalm 139:14). God made plans for you before you were even born (Psalm 139:16). Those plans may not have been for marriage or motherhood. But that doesn’t make you useless or a failure.
As you follow Jesus in your singleness, you have more time to devote to our precious Savior than you would otherwise have. Even the apostle Paul said, “I wish that all men [a statement that includes women] were even as I myself [single]. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (NKJV)).
It’s a good thing to be single. Not that it’s bad to be married. Rather, it’s good to be where God has you.
There is so much you can do to further the kingdom of God. Remember how much you are loved by God. He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for your sins so you could have a relationship with Him (John 3:16). Seek God with all your heart, and He will show you the plans He has for you.
Here’s a link to a teaching on singleness that I hope will encourage you: Singles Matter