“. . . forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” (Colossians 3:13 (NKJV))

 

When someone has wronged you, forgiveness is likely the last thing on your mind. The pain cuts deep into your heart. Thoughts like, “How could she have said that?” or “How could he have done that to me?” run through your mind. You justify withholding forgiveness because you feel like they don’t deserve it.

Before we talk about why you should forgive, let’s start by defining our terms. Forgiveness means that you release the person’s debt – the debt that was created by the wrong. It does not mean that the person’s words or actions were okay. It’s only a decision to no longer hold that wrong against them.

Moreover, forgiveness is not the same thing as reconciliation. You can forgive without the relationship being restored. The trust that was lost is not necessarily regained. Depending on the circumstances, that person may still not be a part of your life and may not even know that you’ve forgiven them.

With that in mind, here are three reasons you should forgive:

 

1. God Told Us To

 

The main reason we should forgive is because God told us to. As we see from the above verse, God commands us to forgive. It tells us that we “must” forgive (Colossians 3:13 (NKJV)). The word “must” means that it’s mandatory. It’s not optional. We don’t get to decide if we want to forgive. The Bible doesn’t say, “You can think about whether it’s a good idea.”

Because God told us to forgive, we should be obedient to do what He’s asked us to do. Frankly, this should be enough. (Drop mic, exit stage right.) But if you’re still not convinced, there are two more reasons you should forgive.

 

2. You’ve Been Forgiven Much

 

Second, you should forgive based on the forgiveness you’ve received from God. Going back to the verse in Colossians, the Bible teaches that you must forgive “even as Christ forgave you” (Colossians 3:13 (NKJV)). When Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother, Jesus told him a parable.

In the parable, a king was settling his accounts with his servants and saw that a man owed him 10,000 talents (Matthew 18:23-24). That probably doesn’t mean much to you since we don’t have talents in our monetary system. But at that time, 10,000 talents would equate to payment for 60 million workdays.[1] Yes, million. If you divide that by 365 days in a year, you come up with about 164,383 years. Obviously, it would be impossible to work off that debt.

Because the servant was not able to pay the debt, the king ordered that the man, his wife, his children, and all his possessions be sold (Matthew 18:25). The man fell down before the king and begged him to have patience with him (Matthew 18:26). So, the king “was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt” (Matthew 18:27 (NKJV)).

The servant then went to a fellow servant who owed him 100 denarii (100 days’ wages), “laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying ‘Pay me what you owe!’” (Matthew 18:28 (NKJV)). When his fellow servant begged him to have patience with him, “he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt” (Matthew 18:29-30 (NKJV)).

When the king found out about it, he called the servant and said, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” (Matthew 18:32-33 (NKJV)). So the king “delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him” (Matthew 18:34 (NKJV)).

Jesus then said, “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses” (Matthew 18:35 (NKJV)).

Like the servant in the parable, we have been forgiven much as believers in Jesus. The price of our forgiveness was costly because we have sinned against an all-powerful, almighty God. Jesus had to die to pay that price. He was brutally beaten and hung on a cross. Yet, Jesus willingly died because of His great love for us.

In turn, any infraction against us pales in comparison to our sin against God. Because we have been forgiven much, we should forgive those sins committed against us.

I’m not trying to minimize your pain. That pain is real. The offense may have been great. Your trust was probably violated. Relationships may have been ruined. But any sin against us is like the debt owed to the servant by his fellow servant. And our sin against God is like the debt the servant owed the king – one that we would have never been able to repay.

 

3. It’s Good For Your Health

 

Finally, you should forgive because unforgiveness is bad for you. It’s a heavy burden. Until you forgive, that burden is always with you. When you see the person or think about them, whatever they did comes to mind. Your anxiety rises as you dwell on it. You become bitter as you replay it over and over in your mind.

The anxiety you experience has an adverse effect on your body. As the Bible teaches us, “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression” (Proverbs 12:25 (NKJV)). Of course, medical studies corroborate the Bible’s claim. And I’m sure you’ve experienced anxiety at one time or another in varying degrees. It’s never a good thing. When you forgive, you feel lighter and your anxiety is relieved.

So let’s obey God and forgive those who have wronged us. God knows what is best for us. Let’s always remember how much God has forgiven us. You’ll reap the benefits as you draw closer to God and walk by faith with Him.

 

[1] Earl D. Radmacher, ed. NKJV Study Bible – Notes. n.p.: Thomas Nelson, 2019. Olive Tree Bible Study App Edition.